Nobody relishes the task of setting boundaries at work, but for neurodivergent people, it can be particularly challenging to communicate boundaries because our needs often differ from the majority of our colleagues, managers, and customers.
At Send it to Alex, we don’t just help our clients set and maintain healthy boundaries at work, we practice what we preach. Here are four ways we recommend that employees and employers practice setting healthy boundaries at work:
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Get clear on what boundaries would support you at work
If you want to set clearer, healthier boundaries at work, start by reviewing past events where you feel like your boundaries have been blurred. Find the patterns in these events, and use them to craft clear language around what your boundaries are, and why they are essential to your success and well-being at work.
If, for example, fielding calls late at night is causing you stress at work, look back at how you felt during those experiences, what changes you want to see, and how those changes will benefit you personally and professionally.
If you want to set a boundary like having meeting-free days, or a work-from-home day to allow you to do some deep focus, review times in the past when having those boundaries would have helped you work to your full potential in a healthy way.
When you’re able to point to what doesn’t work and why, you’ll have more confidence in asking for what you need.
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Use a script to set boundaries with colleagues
You may want to script out what you say in advance of setting certain boundaries with colleagues and managers so that you’re prepared for what to say. You might prepare something like:
“Because I have trouble processing spoken instructions, can you please share an agenda ahead of our meeting, and follow up with an email on urgent action items? This would really help me do my best work and feel supported at work.”
Or:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed by the number of meetings in my diary. Could the subject of Friday’s meeting could be handled over email or voice note instead, so I can focus on working through my tasks for the whole afternoon?”
You may also want to have a script on hand for moments when you have to set unexpected boundaries.
If you’re being asked to do something at work that causes you stress or requires something that is inaccessible for any reason, you can use a script like this:
“I respect that you need X thing done by Y time, but unfortunately that won’t work for me because I need X instead. Can we [choose a later deadline / bring in outside help / lay out the instructions over email instead of in a phone call, etc]? I appreciate you working this out with me.”
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Start working relationships from a place of trust
Setting boundaries gets a lot easier when employers are proactive about facilitating and respecting healthy boundaries, so managers, this tip is for you. The most helpful thing you can do to encourage your employees to work to their fullest potential is to trust them to do their work.
When you start your working relationships from a place of trust and confidence in your employee’s abilities, then they will feel empowered to set boundaries that allow them to work to the best of their own abilities.
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Get assistance and guidance from a support worker
Setting boundaries can be a much smoother process when you have someone by your side. Working with a support worker who understands your unique challenges and skills can help you set boundaries – not just with your colleagues but also with yourself so that you can cultivate a working life that meets your needs, instead of steamrolling over them.
At Send it to Alex, we help out clients identify where they need support and clearer boundaries, and then we help them put systems into place so that they get the support they need and work within boundaries that work for them.
If you or someone who works for you could benefit from having our team on side, get in touch with us today to book in a chat – we’d love to hear from you.
